Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
