you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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