I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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