I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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