I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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