I can tuck mytits in my pants
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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