do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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