wanna go halves on a baby?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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