I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
