I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
