my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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