i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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