I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
