its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
