You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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