I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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