Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize