Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize