I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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