I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
