Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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