my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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