Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize