First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
