Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please come you make the beer taste better
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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