Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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