I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
