You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
