There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize