sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
