dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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