Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
