either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
