So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
