I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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