Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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