If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
