If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
