been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
