Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
