Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
