Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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