you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
