When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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