YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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