I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
