life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
