Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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