I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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