i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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