i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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