I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
