Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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