"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
