Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
