I think I am morally bankrupt
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
