I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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