Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
