He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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