Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
